Wednesday, March 2, 2011

NEWS ALERT!: DPW Commissioner Jump Gunn Disappears into Giant Pothole

DPW Commissioner Jump Gunn's city issued Cadillac Escalade disappeared into a giant pothole that opened up on Commercial St. this afternoon with the Commissioner in it. Apparently Gunn was transporting his new computer issued to him by Mayor Kennedy from Lynn Tech to his DPW office.

DPW spokesperson Jump (Jumpy) Gunn Jr., also Gunn's son, reported, "Our dear leader and father fell into the pothole located at the corner of Commercial and Alley at 2pm this afternoon. It is quite a large pothole and reports indicated that it might come out in a pothole located in a province of China near Tibet. We ask for your prayers in this hard time."

The US Embassy in China has been contacted to keep an eye out for Gunn Senior according to an unidentified mayoral aid. A pothole specialist at Salem St. has pointed out that it could take a couple of days for Gunn Senior to make it through the planet and come out on the other end.

Upon hearing this news Gunn Jr. shreaked, "Nooooo!!! That computer had a quad core Intel Processor. I was going to play Halo all night long." He then stomped back into the DPW headquarters.

Stay tuned to the Lynn Daily Tomato for more updates on this quickly developing story.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds to me like there is a little nesPOTism going on. Why don't you investigate that? Surely you're not a rotten tomato.