Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Opinion: The Lynn Daily Tomato Calls for the Creation of a new City Department of Magical Thinking

Lets face it. The city of Lynn faces a lot of problems. We have crumbling schools and streets. The rat gangs are taking over the city along with the human gangs. It has gotten so bad that the federal government will not even make fighter jet engines that the Air Force does not want here.

But the thing about fixing all these problems is that they cost money. But who wants to pay more property taxes. The Head Tomato certainty does not! With an average single family tax bill of $3631 Lynn tax payers are being asked for too much even though our average tax is is way below the state average.

This is way we propose the creation of a city department for Magical Thinking. We have all seen the Harry Potter movies. Think of all the problems that could be solved. I am sure a potion could be cooked up to fill up those potholes. Too much snow, we could have a sweeping snow removing spell. Rats could be zapped and gang members could be stupefied to be hauled off to jail. And we all know Richard Fortucci could use a cloak of invisibility when he walks past the Mayors office for his 10th coffee break in 2 hours.

It is clear that this is the solution for all our problems. I little magical thinking and Lynn will become the jewel of the north shore that we know it can become. Mayor Kennedy, Council President Phelan, put aside your dispute and get this done for the city.


  1. Speaking of Magical Thinking, the Augusten Burroughs book with the same name was excellent! Maybe we can give it to the employees of City Hall as part of their summer reading list.

  2. creative. how come u cAN be anon but your commentators cant?

    makes no sense. you that afraid of others opinions?

  3. I have no idea who gestalt is. Come on over to the dark side and make up a handle for yourself and post under that. It is more fun!

  4. not my kind of fun. but thanks for the play invite

  5. A more practical and realistic idea would to be to invest in lottery tickets and rosary beads. May the Force be with you.