Red Sox officials announced last night that due to poor performance the high priced Red Sox players would be replaced by the Northshore Navigators players. Theo Epstien is said to be very frustrated by the lack of performance by his nearly one billion dollar payroll and figures to give the kids from Fraser Field a chance to play in the big leagues. An un-named source close to Epstien is quoted as saying "They can't be any worse than those Bentley driving bozos we got in there now. Maybe the Navigator kids can do a little David and Galiuth with the Yankees tonight."
The Navigators are said to be ecstatic about the chance to play at historic Fenway Park and against the legendary New York Yankees no less. "Can you believe it!" hollered backup catcher Chip Throwsome, "we get to play in Fenway Park. I can't wait to try and hit one over the Monster."
High priced free agent acquisition Carl Crawford is said to be despondent over being replaced by a bunch of kids who could not even make it into the major leagues for opening day.
Happy Opening Day from the Tomato!!