Thursday, April 7, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church to Open Online Bigotry Office in Lynn

The Westboro Baptist Church announced today that they will be opening a satellite office for this Kansas based church in Lynn. The focus of the new office will online bigotry according to their spokesperson B.S. Crazy.

"We keep a close eye on the comment section of the Lynn Daily Item and it is clear that there is some real talent for online bigotry in that city." Ms. Crazy stated at her press conference. "We have wanted to spread our reach both online and out east and Lynn, Lynn City of Sin seemed like a great fit for us."

They will be hiring 10 new positions that they are calling Online Bigotry Correspondents. Their job will be to monitor the comment sections of online newspapers and blogs and insert Westboro brand of dialog to the comment stream.

They have already hired the top two positions in the office with the Daily Item commenters Caligula being hired for Director of Bigotry Messaging and Agamemnus to Director of Bigotry Online Operations. "These two have a great track record of consistent bigoted comments on the Daily Item website and we think they will be perfect to head our national operations." Ms. Crazy stated at the press conference.

Ward 8 Councilor Joey McBurlisconi gave the new office a big thumbs up. "This is exactly what Lynn needs. More technology sector jobs and it taps into a talent base you can only really find in Lynn." When asked about what he felt about the bigoted nature of the office Mr. McBurlisconi added, "a jobs a job."


  1. Sure sounds like half the commentators. Great investigation work!

  2. It is a little stange that Lynn Item commenters would pick a roman emperor who is know for incest and a Greek war leader who led the largest booty call in recorded civilization as their posting names.